When to consider counselling for your teen

It can be very difficult to know if counselling could be right for your older child or teen, and when. As a parent, guardian or primary caregiver, it is incredibly hard to know what is best to do, especially if your teen is really struggling. 

You may have many anxieties around when is the right time to suggest counselling and what the reaction might be. Sadly, even in 2026, there can still be a negative reaction to suggesting therapy. However, this is a reminder for you, as well as your child or teen, you haven’t failed. Seeking support isn’t a sign of weakness or inadequacy of parenting. In fact, it is a sign of the utmost care and consideration. 

In this blog, we thought it would be helpful to explore the question: “Does my teen need counselling?” Read on for some helpful information.

What counselling can help with

Counselling is one of many things you may consider if you are worried about your child. 

Counselling is an excellent way to support a teen with a range of concerns, such as anxiety, stress, depression and low self-esteem. These may really become evident as we get closer to the return to school - from exam stress to bullying to difficult friendships. There can be a whole range of pressures your teen may be dealing with.

Noticing shifts in behaviour 

Unfortunately, kids rarely walk up to us and just say “I’m feeling anxious” or “I’m struggling” … “Can you get me some help?”  …Wouldn’t it be easier if they did! Instead they often communicate through their behaviour. And as parents and caregivers we are often excellent at noticing this, so don’t ignore it. 

However, it can also be hard to assess if there is a serious problem or just a ‘feeling low’ day. 

We recommend considering a few signs that may highlight that there is something going on that a counsellor could help address:

• Marked changes in personality - especially a child who becomes more consistently quiet or withdrawn, or a teen who becomes highly irritable.

• Physical complaints - more regular concerns such as tummy aches, headaches, feeling tired - these come be physical manifestations of anxiety.

• Sleep or eating disruption - either not feeling hungry or noticeable disruptions to sleep patterns, waking in the night, etc.

• Hiding away - this can be not wanting to attend activities or clubs, or pulling away from friends or even family life, with more time spent in their rooms or away from doing things they used to love. 

We appreciate that with older children and teens some of these ‘signs’ may be common stages of growing up. So, this is not about a bad day or short phase, it’s about identifying a pattern, perhaps over several weeks, alongside your gut feeling about whether something isn’t quite right. 

If this is so, then counselling may be something you want to consider and discuss with your child.

Introducing the idea of counselling 

If you believe counselling may be what your child needs, then you might be keen to go straight in and recommend this solution to them, with all best intentions. However, remember this can feel like a really big step and may even seem like an extreme leap for your teen, if it is not something they have even been considering.

Whilst we don’t believe you have to wait until crises point to seek support, your child or teen might not like the ‘label’ of seeing a counsellor. In addition, fear of the unknown is very common. It means that even suggesting the idea of counselling may be shut down quickly by your teen, without a chance of exploring the idea. This can feel very frustrating as a parent.

However, if you think a counsellor might be a good option, then it is definitely worth introducing the idea. Start by offering to explore the idea, rather than presenting it as a solution or foregone conclusion. Ask your child or teen how comfortable they feel about the idea. Discuss why you feel it ‘might’ help, but that importantly you are keen to hear their thoughts. 

"I think this might help. What do you think?" is a great question for older kids and teens.

Having a successful conversation about counselling

Armed with the knowledge that you are keen to explore counselling – the ‘when’ and ‘how’ can still feel daunting. 

You may feel like you need to have a “big chat”, but this can sometimes create a more pressured environment, which can draw out more reactive / ‘do the opposite’ responses. 

Instead, you can bring it up more casually, side by side can work well, such as in the car or on a walk. This can make the conversation feel less threatening (our walking counselling sessions are popular for this very reason!)

You don’t even have to use the terms ‘counselling’ or ‘therapy’. Focus more on the idea of talking to someone. You can float the idea of being able to talk to someone else, who isn't you, another parent or a teacher. Introduce the idea of speaking to someone who is, instead, completely neutral. We know we all hope that our kids would talk to us, but often it is so much easier for them to talk to another. Try not to take it personally and reassure your teen that you understand, and that it’s ok. 

For older children and teens, try to give them as much control as possible. Even if you are convinced that counselling could help and you want them to take action to ‘change things’, counselling is often more successful if the child has agency over the decision to go. Speak about what you have noticed, but without judgement. Offer the idea of just a chat or even one session, and let them know that if it doesn’t feel right for them, then there is no pressure. 

Also, do ensure they understand what to expect.

Opening up the world of counselling to your teen

For some children or teenagers, they may have an idea of what therapy is, which is very outdated. It may be based on what they have seen in movies or read in books. There may be some confusion over psychiatric help vs therapy and only for the “serious mentally ill”. 

These misconceptions and assumptions are common enough among adults, so do be very aware of what your child might envision counselling to be. If they are willing to talk about the idea of counselling, check in to ensure they understand what it would be like in the UK today. We encourage you to reassure your child and destigmatise asking for this kind of therapeutic help. We are objective allies, sounding boards, caring professionals. We are not here to judge or even ‘fix’. 

We know from experience that some teens will feel like they are the only person they know who has had to see a counsellor. It’s often not true, but because it's not something people (let alone teens) tend to share, it’s very normal to feel this way. Do reassure your teen that many people - children, teens and adults – do have therapy, even if they haven’t heard people speak about it. If you have had therapy in the past, you might consider letting them know this, to normalise it further.

Remind your teen that modern counselling is about a warm, collaborative, and creative space where they can unpack muddled feelings, without fear of being judged. It’s a confidential "zone of privacy" where they can figure out who they are and what they want. Importantly, they won’t be judged, asked to divulge secrets or ‘forced’ into anything.

Remember the sessions don’t have to be all talking either, they may be asked if they want to try creative activities.

Finally, you can explain that usually parents don't go into sessions and information is only divulged to parents, if there is significant cause for concern, or with the consent of the child. Therefore, your teen can be reassured that they can talk about anything they like and the space is safe and private (with certain safeguarding exceptions).

Ready to take the next step… together? 

Deciding to explore counselling should be a collaboration between you and your child – it can be a gentle process of discovery and may take longer than you expect for them to come round to the idea, but that’s ok. Simply letting them know there is this option to explore can be reassuring. 

When you look at our Team page, you can filter the therapists using the teens button (or children, if under 16) to bring up the therapists that can help. You can explore the options together and allow them to pick the person they feel they might like to talk to. This can be another good step towards giving them even more agency over the process. 

As parents and guardians, we don’t always have the answers, and it's good to remind your kids of this too. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is help your child find a safe space to ask the questions or explain how they are feeling to someone else.

If you have spoken to your child and not got the response you are hoping for, we also welcome you to get in touch. We can support you to support your child. 

Feel free to book an initial informal chat with a qualified counsellor to talk through what you are seeing at home, to see if it feels like a good fit. No pressure, just a supportive conversation. We have expertly qualified teen and child specialists. Visit our team  page today.